What the Pharisee should have prayed

In Luke 18 Jesus relates a parable illustrating how arrogance short circuits worship. A Pharisee (read very religious person) and a tax collector (read the worst person you can think of) play off each other in dueling prayers. Here is the pharisee’s prayer; "The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ While reading this today I thought, “What should his prayer have looked like?” Here is my stab at it. Lord, you know me well. I don’t extort money out of people like this tax collector does, but I love to guilt trip people into giving. I judge them if they don’t give. I judge them if they do give since its never enough. I think they should be like me, however, I'm judgmental and arrogant. You know I am meticulously fair, but have no grace or mercy. I always want my pound of flesh. You know I’m faithful to my wife not so much out of love but because I’m afraid of AIDs or some other disease. I love to remind her of how faithful I am. You know I fast twice a week because I want to buy Your love. I know I can’t buy your love because it is freely given, but I still prefer to think I’ve earned it in some way. I tithe a tenth of everything so that I don’t feel guilty hoarding everything else that I have. Truthfully Lord, I may not look like this tax collector outwardly, but inwardly I’m full of death and darkness just as much as he is, maybe more so. You have every reason to call me just a prettily decorated grave. Lord, I need your grace and mercy as much as this man. I do not want to live this sterile, unfruitful life any more. I wish to live an open, inviting, humble life and leave my pride of how good I look crucified on the cross with you. I desire that grace and mercy become the crown and joy of my life. When I fast may it be with a joyful heart looking expectantly to You for spiritual nourishment. When I tithe may it be gladly, freely knowing that all I have is yours. When I see others like this brother tax collector may I revel in the scandalous grace that you have poured out on both him and me through the Lamb that was slain, Your Son Jesus. Amen. Pastor Nathan